My Blog

2009 is indeed a good year for me. Though it’s still halfway through, good luck is fasten in my shoes. I can’t hide the verity of last years’ remarkable events. I was a mislaid sheep with nobody to blame but myself. I managed to stand up and be strong to deal with the melancholy my brain could ever record. Yes, I admit! I made a mistake. But, given the benefit of the doubt, I did endure as well. People are people. We are extremely vulnerable in committing errors.

As i hark back to the events that had happened, I couldn’t stop myself but lament and blame myself and those people who used me for their concealed motives. Memories are so fresh and strike my heart. The outrage of emotions is still there- the hurt, the pain is still there… The dire thing is, I can’t accept everything especially the part where they hold me responsible of everything that has happened.

As I was saying, last year was the worst year ever! i battled with myself and the ones I truly loved. I threw away all my principles and followed my heart regardless of what others would think and say about me. At first, i was undeniably happy to show to the world that i could be independent of everybody. I was so overwhelmed of the idea of living my life to the fullest. The feeling was new to me-freedom was something fresh and worth discovering. But then again, along the way, my brain keeps on telling me to redirect my life- which I wasn’t on the right path anymore.  Remorse suddenly popped into my system. Then i took a few steps backward… the idea of hurting my loved ones wasn’t remarkable at all.

KARMA- sad but true. As I was so busy of my new-fangled life, I failed to notice the flip-ups i have committed. In the end, KARMA knocked and wahlah! My consciousness suddenly perked up! Stupidity is a crime well learned. All gratitude to God who made me realize that my brain was located above my heart for the purpose of autocracy. Yes! God has limitations. 2nd step? FORGIVENESS. It isn’t too late for everything. As long as the sun is still shining, all things are possible. All things work together for good.

As of now, I really am a new being. Those incidents happen for a reason. Mine was to let me embrace reality that not all good things would make us happy especially when we compromise our dearest ones. Also, i have learned that your true friends are the ones who never left you nor judged you but instead, lead you to the right path. I lost a lot of friends but gained few who are worth more than three-folds their number. Problems come and go. It’s good to know that i now appreciate life and living.

I’m still crossing my fingers for the things that are yet to come. To my detractors, hating them wasn’t an option- forgetting them is far better. It’s better to be silent than regret the unsympathetic words that i may utter. i know that trials are there-always. All i have to do is be prepared and never loose hope, also be sure on the path I’m choosing. I wish to have a good life. All’s well that ends well.

i don’t really know the reason why i have to write this again…

it’s maybe i wasn’t able to get over with my feelings that still rekindles me with the past…

it has been more than a year now that we were not able to see each other, have our getaway bondings, laugh at each other, appreciate each other’s accomplishments, placate each others’ emotions when one is down in the dumps, and plan for the future by holding each others’ hands…

when we had our rift of sentiments, we tend to live sideways..we tend to live our lives without the shaddows of the past…we tend to forget the friendship we once  created…and allowed our newly-acquainted friends journey with us upto the present..

yes. i was hurt. very hurt. i just couldn’t deny the fact that what makes me indignant this very moment was the actaulity that the people that i have been with for almost all my life are now strangers to me…i dunno if you’re still the ones i grew up with, shared my woes with, shared my laughter with–the ones i invested my emotions with…

i just couldn’t help myself of harking back to our past..to ruminate the moments we spent–the emotions we shared. one thing is for sure,i’m still the same eileen you once knew..i maybe "brutal" for causing you throbbing nuisance, insensitive of your frame of mind, uncaring for the teething troubles you’ve been through–but, i really tried my very best to prove my love and devotion… my best.

i’m not sure if you really know this already…ahhmm..i just want to say that our friendship is my inspiration of moving on..our friendship will forever be treasured in my heart..and forever be valued in my life. we may be living away from each other now, but the memories will remain..and forever be cherished.

i miss you guys!

THE MEANING OF FLOWERS

• Amaryllis Lily
  pride and beauty
• Azalea
  temperance
• Bachelor’s Buttons
  celibacy
• Begonia
  beware
• Camellias
  Red: unpretentious excellence
  White: exquisite loveliness
• Carnations:
  Red: my poor heart
  Pink: I’ll never forget you.
  Yellow: disdain
  White: sweet and lovely
• Chrysanthemum:
  Red: I love
  White: truth
  Yellow: slighted love
• Crocus
  abuse not
  Spring: youthful gladness
• Cyclamen
  diffidence
• Daffodils
  regard
• Dahlia
  changeable
• Daisy
  innocence
• Forget-me-not
  constant love
• French Marigold
  jealousy, discontent
• Gladiolus
  I’m really sincere
• Hibiscus
  rare beauty
• Hyacinth
  sporting
  White: discreet loveliness
• Hydrangea
  Thank you for understanding
• Iris
  communication; faith; hope
• Lilac
  Purple: first love
  White: youthful innocence
• Lily of the Valley
  increased happiness
• Lily
  White: purity
• Mistletoe
  kiss me
• Narcissus
  ego
• Nasturtium
  loyalty
• Orchid
  love; beauty; refinement
• Pansies
  consideration
• Peony
  bashfulness
• Ranunculus
  radiant charm
• Rhodadendron
  danger
• Roses
  Red: love
  Yellow: friendship
  Pink: young love, romance, first love
  White: pure, innocence
• Snapdragon
  presumption
• Sweet William
  bravery
• Tiger Flower
  befriend me friend